THESE DAYS DON'T SEEM THE SAME
AND I'M LONELY

THESE DAYS DON'T SEEM TO BE THE SAME
AND I'M LONELY

MY LIFE WAS GOING SMOOTHLY THAT COLD SEPTEMBER MORNING
AND THE STORM RAGED JUST OFFSHORE 
AND I COULD FEEL IT SLOWLY MOVING CLOSER
AND I COULD SENSE THE PRESSURE DROPPING AS IT BECAME STRONGER


I REMEMBER SITTING THERE
IN THAT COLD, WHITE, PLASTIC CHAIR
FULL OF THE SAME SILENT RAGE
THAT RAGED INSIDE THAT STORM

AND THAT SAME TERRIBLE RAGE
RAGED INSIDE MY SOUL
IT LONGED TO BLEED OUT OF ME AND INTO YOU
DEADLY

AND I REMEMBER STANDING UP
FISTS CLENCHED TIGHTLY
AS COLD RAIN DRIPPED QUICKLY
DOWN MY FACE, MY COAT, MY HANDS

AND I STOOD SHIVERING AND SHAKING
FROM BOTH THE DAMPNESS OF MY CLOTHES
AND THE COLDNESS IN MY SOUL
AND I REMEMBER STRUGGLING NOT TO HURT YOU

BUT YOU HURT ME FIRST 
YOU CUT ME DEEP
AND IT WAS BURNING
BURNING

YOUR WORDS STILL RING IN MY EARS
AS YOU TOLD ME THAT THE LOVE WE KNEW
THAT THE LOVE WE EMBRACED
THAT THE LOVE WE SHARED YOU NOW SHARE WITH HIM

I STOOD THERE SHAKING
EYES BURNING
BREATH FLEETING
AND WITH WEEK KNEES I DROPPED TO THE FLOOR

I REMEMBER THE PAIN OF THAT RUSTED NAIL
PIERCING MY RAIN-SOAKED JEANS
RIPPING THROUGH THE FLESH AND LIGAMENT
JUST BELOW MY BENDED KNEE

AND I REMEMBER SCREAMING OUT IN PAIN
BUT THE PAIN OF THE NAIL PALED IN COMPARISON
TO THE PAIN IN MY HEART AND IN RETROSPECT
IT WAS A RELIEF

WITH MY FACE BURIED IN MY HANDS I WEPT UNCONTROLLABLY
NAILED TO THE FLOOR BY MY KNEE YOU HAD ME
I COULD SMELL YOUR PERFUME AS YOU MOVED CLOSER
I FELT YOUR HAND LIGHTLY ON MY HEAD; STROKING

THEN ON THE TOP OF MY HEAD 
YOU KISSED ME
YOU KISSED ME
YOU KISSED ME

TEARS
WALK SLOWLY TO ME
HOLD HEAD AGAINST HIP
I PUSH AWAY
FALL THROUGH BRITTLE RAIL
RAIL PIERCES ABDOMEN
YOU: WATER-GLASSED EYES MEET MINE
SILENCE

© Will C. Brown, Jr.